There Is No Crying


I cry a lot…sometimes alone and sometimes with family and friends.  Perhaps I may be more sensitive than others or I have an emotional brain…my thoughts occupy my head.  The reason really values depending on what stresses levels I have or if something I feel like I am suffering daily thinking about the past.  My life was trauma many times over when I was a child and teenager.  Most of the times, I would smile and have this outrageous personality…it scared some people but they liked that I was positive about life.  Now at 37, I believe in that beautiful word “recovery”.  My advice to others who may have suffered difficulties is this phrase my best friend Anica sent me a book with the title “when going through hell, keep going”.  That book reminded me that pain does go away if you release your anger and reach the point of the deepest rock bottom of how your soul is being “murdered”.  Crying always gave me relief from anxiety and admitting that life is connected to perfectionism/people pleasing.  This writing is my admitting from the deepest of my heart.  Be an adult.  God that sounds so scary to me…I still act like a child in many ways.  Being true of what I want.  This “mental diet” every morning plays daily goals and schedules.  I want proof that I am functionally specifically for my dreams so they will come/realized.  This is not the end of the story; I want to clean my destiny.  Maybe I cry when I am happy too.  My tears are a tool to functioning.  My eyes are wide open.  I must work daily to have a peace of mind, an enjoyment of life and discovering self-esteem.

Published by heatherdeogracia

On the first day of my job, I walk into a production studio to hand in paperwork. A young gentleman stands up to shake my hand when I walk into the room. "Wow! You are tall." he states. I point to my heels of my shoes. "Wow! You are short." Laughter lights up the room. Matt Damon San Francisco Clear Channel Radio With an electric soul of an artist, Heather Deogracia, has an interesting personality that uses her manic branches of her mind to express her sense of humor, expand the creative hourly illustration addiction and continually read big books about artistic principles, elements and glorious techniques to feed her intellectual capabilities. “With a splash of color and chemicals in my brain, I have to clean it out once a day or it must flash flood my other organs.” Heather Deogracia Proud to start staging a background of her latest achievements, Heather was on the front page Sunday Feature in the Midland Daily News on Oct. 19, 2016 and is an Award-Winning Fine Artist for the state-wide competition Legacy Trust Award Collection for the past three years in a row. She displayed in over 30 exhibits and fundraisers in the tri-city area over the past four years. She has earned a 2017 Leadership of Bay County Achievement Award from Studio 23 and a Midland County Art Letourneau Award for "Collaboration and Creativity in Community Support". A harshly educated woman, Deogracia spent five years to earn a double major Bachelor’s Degree of Science in Medical Illustration in Pre-Medicine and Fine Art at California State University in San Bernardino. At the same time period, she held down three jobs as an Intern for the District Attorney, Graphics Editor for the college weekly newspaper and created the Peer Health Education program. Her artistic talents covered in the fine studio art requirements included painting, color theory, graphic design, photography, figure drawing, advanced drawing, watercolor, sculpture, illustration and art portfolio assignments to keep work organized. In the sciences, she has a background in chemistry, organic chemistry, biochemistry, advanced human anatomy and psychology, biology, genetics, comparative animal psychology, marine biology and medical microbiology. Currently, she has been an art instructor for workshops for the past year for Creative 360, teaching private art lessons and writing a graphic novel soon to complete by the beginning of 2018 named Heather Hurts Inside: Illustrations of a Broken Human. The new true story is about a suicidal bipolar woman that is prescribed Ritalin at the age of 38 and she reverts back to her glory days of her life. The truth is that no one knows the past is killing her mind.