There Is No Crying

I cry a lot…sometimes alone and sometimes with family and friends.  Perhaps I may be more sensitive than others or I have an emotional brain…my thoughts occupy my head.  The reason really values depending on what stresses levels I have or if something I feel like I am suffering daily thinking about the past.  My life was trauma many times over when I was a child and teenager.  Most of the times, I would smile and have this outrageous personality…it scared some people but they liked that I was positive about life.  Now at 37, I believe in that beautiful word “recovery”.  My advice to others who may have suffered difficulties is this phrase my best friend Anica sent me a book with the title “when going through hell, keep going”.  That book reminded me that pain does go away if you release your anger and reach the point of the deepest rock bottom of how your soul is being “murdered”.  Crying always gave me relief from anxiety and admitting that life is connected to perfectionism/people pleasing.  This writing is my admitting from the deepest of my heart.  Be an adult.  God that sounds so scary to me…I still act like a child in many ways.  Being true of what I want.  This “mental diet” every morning plays daily goals and schedules.  I want proof that I am functionally specifically for my dreams so they will come/realized.  This is not the end of the story; I want to clean my destiny.  Maybe I cry when I am happy too.  My tears are a tool to functioning.  My eyes are wide open.  I must work daily to have a peace of mind, an enjoyment of life and discovering self-esteem.