“Are you okay honey. Do you need a prayer?”
“No”, I said, “I am just in a crying mood and need a bubble bath”. The four choir members surrounding me laughed and hugged me one at a time. It was beautiful and an excellent way to end the overwhelming day.
I blame the whole crying spell on our choir leader. He’s a genius in my eyes. Leading a 100 member choir in one loud voice is absolutely inspirational. Of the three choir practices I have attended, he usually prays out loud two to three times. Last night, he read from some book I never heard of…the words just yanked my heart out and all my feelings over the past year came to the forefront.
That morning, I went to a moving morning session at the Women’s Bible Study where it reminded me that all the decisions I make should be a daily inner conversation with God.
In addition, I turned in an art piece that took me hours and hours to accomplish. I felt like my piece wasn’t good enough and all that uncertainty flooded into my brain. Instead of being proud of my work, I was really like “will someone with new eyes get the message I am portraying?”. So far, only three people had seen the piece and getting their approval was nice. I guess sincere approval is what got me to do art pieces in college in the first place. Getting critiques actually made my work more like an application of “art theory” and not to copy another person’s design or style. I would be jazzed to read what observers thought the piece was about (not even close on some occasions).
Crying ALWAYS makes me feel better, but in a crowd of happy singers was not sort of embarrassing…I am sure God doesn’t mind and he knows I cry happy tears.